Today’s Work Chronicles…
If y’all only knew the fatigue tucked behind this smile. My momma had me out late and I’m not as young as I used to be so I need ALL MY REST to operate as an extrovert for 12 hours. Thought it would be a long, rainy day but a visitor helped me push through early this morning.
As a gentleman was leaving, he stopped by to ask, “Captain, permission to leave the ship?” As I laughed, he asked how I was doing, I told him I was well and asked how he was. He had a confused look and said, “I don’t know. I told her (his wife who is a resident) I only do what she tells me to do and we’ve been married so long I’m a little lost because she’s here. You know how it is with your significant other.” I told him I was single and only responsible for myself so I couldn’t identify. He said he was afraid of “you women” because we’re so smart and proceeded to tell me a couple jokes and I’ll share as much of what I remember with y’all…
A woman was walking along a beach and discovered a bottle. As she dusted the sand off a genie appeared and stated, “By the nature of this bottle you are granted 3 wishes but there are rules…1. I don’t agree with divorces. 2. Your husband will be granted 10x whatever you ask.
Woman: Ok. I would like a check for a million dollars, written in my name, to be deposited in the bank.
Genie: Ok, but that means your husband will get 10 million.
Woman: That’s fine. I’d also like to be beautiful with a nice body
Genie: Ok and your husband will look good too. What’s your final wish?
Woman: I’d like to have a mild heart attack Me: OMG 😂🤣😂🤣😂
Joke 2…
Husband loses bet, takes it out on wife as they drive home. Cop pulls them over and says, “Sir, I pulled you over because you were going 65 in a 35 mph zone.”
Husband: Officer that can’t be right, I had my cruise control set
Wife: No he didn’t, he doesn’t have cruise control
Officer: I noticed you aren’t wearing your seatbelt
Husband: Well that’s because I thought you were going to ask for my license so I took it off to get my billfold
Wife: He never wears his seatbelt
Husband: Will you shut your damn mouth
Officer: Ma’am, does he always speak to you like this?
Wife: No, he only talks like this when he’s been drinking
Me: Gasps and 😂🤣😂🤣😂
Visitor: See why I’m afraid of y’all? *And walks off*
#TheHairColorWeWereOriginallyShootingFor #CanYallBringMeSomeFoodFromTheBurkeStreetFestival
