Today’s Work Chronicles…
With so much love from the wedding this morning, I vowed nothing would spoil my day. That didn’t stop spoilers from happening 🤦🏾
• Nice lady handed me a bag with 7 “fresh lettuce leaves.” What am going to do with 7 leaves and why do people want to always feed me?
• Resident, who talked to me for 3 hrs last time, had someone push him up here to come talk to me today. Resident got an attitude when visitor needed my assistance. Visitor thanked resident for ‘reluctantly’ moving so he could talk, resident didn’t acknowledge visitor so visitor far***, I mean, passed gas twice as he walked around him.
• Residents who are not supposed to leave keep setting alarms off because THEY ARE TRYING TO LEAVE!
• A resident who has only said “yeah” to me since I’ve known him, seemingly can’t complete sentences and is addicted to Dr. Peppers came to me and said with clear words, “Let me tell you something. I put ‘gd’ $0.75 in that machine and that sumabi*ch took my ‘gd’ money. *Some unclear words were mumbled* throw it out the window!” Went to the machine and the drink cost $0.85 not $0.75.
• Old man comes in trying to find out if his sister has been admitted. I assist him and he starts flirting (with his wife in the car). Tries to pimp as I walk with him to show him where her room will be. Pimps back as I walk in the office. He didn’t know I looked back only to see him grab the rail because that pimp was about to put him on the floor. I later find out he’s a preacher=typical behavior.
• Resident is asking EVERYONE he sees if they can “bowl, golf, horseshoe?” He asked me what was wrong with me because I can’t play even though he can’t either. As I type this, same resident has taken over the jukebox and is playing Christmas music.
• Another old man came in with his pants buckled under his armpits and began talking about the wedding. He also told me he liked my hair color. As he was leaving, he came BACK to say the SAME thing. Then says, “I wanna run my fingers through it but I think I might melt. What do you think?” Me: 😲🤢😔🤕😢 I hope not. Him: When I go out in the rain my feet feel like they’re going to melt and I feel the same way thinking about running my fingers through your hair Me: 😱 *as I think to myself* A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Him: Walks into sliding door Me: Thanks Karma
• As I was finishing this, resident asked for change. I hand it to him, he coughs…without covering his mouth…and it’s full of phlegm. 🤢🤒😷
#IexaggeratedAboutWhereThatMansPantsWere #ButTheRestIsTrue #WhatDidIdoToDeserveThis #YallAintPraying #MyMommaThinksItsFunny