I attended a Holiday Party of a friend who is also the mother of three sons. I was discussing the challenges I was having and she confirmed Michai’s current grade level. She later said, “Oh yea…7th and 10th grades are the toughest!” I stood in her kitchen in disbelief because: 1. She was right, because 7th grade had me thinking we wouldn’t make it to 8th grade and 2. I wish someone would have told me sooner.
I discovered some things about Michai during the first quarter of his 10th grade year. His brain has changed along with his body, these gals got him feeling himself and he forgot what I drop him off at school for five days a week resulting in a poor report card. Many may ask, why I was surprised at what I learned? Primarily because last year, when many have to adjust to the high school atmosphere and schedule, was the best educational year we’ve had thus far. The only issue we had was being in a relationship after I told him, “the girls you meet while at football camp prior to school starting are not the same ones you’ll see at lunch when you interact with girls from all four grades. Pace yourself, be honest and be friends. You’ll have a lifetime to be committed.” Ultimately he used me to break up with a girl, but I’ll tell you about that another time.
I had been actively watching PowerSchool and, while inquiring about his grades, he consistently assured me, “Mom, I’ve got it…” and what I was seeing wouldn’t be printed on his report card. What I was seeing WAS printed on his report card and all privileges were immediately confiscated and revoked. This is where I learned a lot more about him and his peers because I told him to take the password off his phone and quickly understood why his report card looked the way it did.
*I will take full responsibility for the throwing under the bus I’m about to do.* I didn’t want Michai to have a smart phone until high school and only agreed with his father purchasing and servicing the first smart phone in 5th grade, if his father agreed to do periodic checks. The checks didn’t/don’t happen and Michai now has an iPhone and thinks, because I am Team Android, I can’t do my due diligence to see what’s going on. He soon discovered, after his classmates (mainly girls) told him I was messaging them in class to tell them their conversations were inappropriate and they should be focused on school, I am a fast learner and *see the meme below*
There were some tears shed from both of us because I have had so many conversations and placed him in so many workshops about social media presence, yet all he got out of it was, “I didn’t post my real name.” Me: But your face is on it and you’re wearing your school jersey🤦🏾♀️. I had meetings with his football coach, the WSSU football coach, some of the WSSU athletic staff, text messages to the village and solicitation from my prayer warriors the same day the quarter ended. He is a Leo through and through adding to him not wanting to take responsibility, but instead blaming me for going too far and saying, I “didn’t have to do all that.”
Maybe I didn’t have to do all that but, as I often say, “There is no handbook to parenting” so, much like he said he did during the first quarter, I winged it. 🤷🏾♀️
Here I am. Waking up to notes, ironically on the opposite side of his class schedule, requesting his phone back after having been without it for an entire quarter. He has his old android phone he uses for music because music helps him clean better and faster. Aye, I gotta pick my battles.
Let me say, I was punished more than Michai. I can’t trust him to stay at home alone, so he has to go EVERYWHERE WITH ME. I didn’t want him to be at school without a phone, but realized the office has phones and his friends’ minutes are free so I know how to get a message to him. He is not able to check his e-mail for Crosby Scholars’ info or the Remind app for class info so all of them come to my phone. I don’t want to read my own e-mails much less all the messages he gets.
While Michai argues that what will be on his transcript will be good and his GPA won’t suffer, he also admitted he has little control as it pertains to technology. That means, I still must set limits and police his conversations. I don’t remember being as bold and dangerous as some of these girls. And if you remember, don’t remind me or tell Michai.
Call it petty if you want but, despite me being able to see the final grades sooner via PowerSchool, the punishment isn’t over until I get a printed report card. Maybe that’ll help him to remember to give me important documents.
Continue to pray my strength and please note, Michai has English next semester, but I’m told they don’t do much with grammar so he’s been made aware of the need for commas and a question mark in his note…
Teeeeeeheeeee…..I think the men children think with a little hair on their chest and some definition to their bodies, they grown. All you gotta do is lose your mind one good time and thangs will change(in my Sophia) voice. All jokes aside, it is a challenge, but you know y’all have that power that makes a dude weak to his needs. I’m not saying that’s the case, but them hormones and that beef hit differently this day in age. The body is willing, but the mind is weak which should be taking into account when he’s conversing with these gals. I know folks have counted me out in many aspects of their lives, but I know a few things from both sides of the fence. Besides genetics, I ain’t sexy for nothing and aging gracefully.