First Semester Chronicles: Utilize Your Resources

Over the summer, Michai and I agreed that he would take on more responsibility with his education and I wouldn’t be on the Aggie Access portal as much. It was partly due to not wanting to have to circle the block on his advisor, and it was also due to him being more mature and learning lessons from freshman year.

There are times when I’m awakened late at night/early in the morning by the Spirit and unable to go back to sleep. It’s typically related to something involving family, and that “family” is usually Michai. I was awakened three times this semester and immediately went to Michai. Before I could even say anything he would say, “It’s not me! 🤷🏾‍♂️”, so I would attribute it to something that was going on with my mother’s housing situation.

WELLL…the weekend before Thanksgiving, I went away to the mountains on a retreat with the Our Opportunity 2 Love+Heal (OO2L+H) Coalition. I woke up from a nap around midnight and checked my phone before going to bed where I saw communication from one of Michai’s professors (yes I have access to, and sometimes check, his school e-mail 💁🏾). It was something about late assignments, however, I was unable to read it in its entirety because Michai deleted the e-mail from his inbox AND his trash 🤦🏾.

My Spirit was shooketh. I called him to ask about it and then I skipped to telling him to send me his midterm grades. The cover photo is what he sent. Even though I didn’t have my glasses on and only had one eye open from sleep, I KNEW something wasn’t right with that Criminal Justice grade and that it was NOT the ‘B’ he was trying to make it look to be.

I called Michai on FaceTime and we had to have a HEAVY discussion that included him taking this educational opportunity for granted, him taking advantage of his professors by expecting them to grade a bunch of HIS assignments at the end of the semester as if he’s their only student, and taking time for granted by wasting it. Ultimately, I was upset that he lied to me. I couldn’t take his car because he needed it to get to work/school, so I told him he couldn’t visit his girlfriend and she couldn’t visit him until he corrected those grades.

Much like I was when I was in school (all levels)…he’s a procrastinator. I didn’t want him to have to have to find out time is the only resource you can’t get back; ESPECIALLY when you don’t know what the assignments entail. I told him to thank the professor for the notification, apologize to them, and get his work done.

I came home and had another conversation with him and asked why he felt he had to lie? He said his grades are the only thing he can’t be honest with me about 😔. The week of Thanksgiving, that same Spirit that awakens me told me to go a step further. I reached out to his girlfriend to have a conversation.

Every time she comes over, she has her laptop. She even paused with helping my mom pack to complete assignments, so I asked her about Michai and whether he talks about homework when she does hers? She said he didn’t and that she doesn’t typically ask. She knows he’s smart so she thought he was doing what he needed to do. I told her it was NOT her responsibility, however, I would appreciate if she would check in to see if he’s doing his homework. I also told her that if they plan to spend their lives together, they need to have a conversation about what life will look like if one graduates before the other. I ended by saying it wasn’t anything against her, however, I couldn’t allow her to come over until he turned his work in.

Let’s just say, the day after Thanksgiving grades looked a whole lot different than the grades Michai attempted to manipulate. I was happy and pissed at the same time because that meant he could have been performing like that all along and he just chose not to 🙄.

Michai and his girlfriend were able to visit one another AND the final grades are COMPLETLY different than midterm grades. I’m sharing this as a “Parent Chronicle” and because I told him I like to celebrate and praise him MORE than I fuss! I’m super proud of Michai James and ask that you send positive energy his way for him to keep it up!

Oh, and my mother’s housing situation ain’t over yet…👏🏾🙌🏾