“I Just Can’t Give Up Now…”

I have always said, “There is no handbook to parenting”, and Michai continues to prove me right. As recent as this week, I have fussed at him about consistently doing his school work and turning it in ON TIME! A punishment backfired when I told him he wouldn’t go to football practice if his work wasn’t completed. I had to renege because that would have caused a ripple effect on MY schedule, it’s a team sport AND I forgot he wanted to quit anyway so that wasn’t really punishment. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Michai started working at the beginning of the year and has been Blessing Grubhub, Apple and the Playstation Network with his earnings. Not long after his first couple of paychecks, he decided football wasn’t for him. I told him that wasn’t a decision he needed to make. I tried to get his Dad to talk to him, but I didn’t know Michai had already reached out to him and, as a former athlete, he agreed with Michai. I called the coach and told him this was about more than Friday nights, this was about keeping him sane. Apparently it worked because Michai text me and said, “Please don’t tell anyone else I want to quit because people keep calling me and I’m tired of talking about it.” *The village at work*

Now…him quitting would have surely made my life easier. Yesterday alone, I put 100 miles on my car all because our schedule had to shift due to the rescheduled game. Barbershop at 730a, hair twisted at 11a (that I consciously knew would be money given away because he was going to sweat them out hours later), had to get Michai home for tutoring where he almost left his helment and I had to remind him about his pads because this is the first game where they aren’t using lockers at school, I had to take him across town to school, come back to our side of town to explain to my cognitively impaired client why I would be leaving while it’s light outside (on a full moon weekend), and then get to another side of town to get to the game. So, yes, quitting would have been an easy fix, but would it have made our lives better? My answer is, no.

I received confirmation after listening to a minister friend’s husband, who is a pastor, mention this morning about kids continuing to commit suicide because of their lack of social interaction. Social interaction that Michai gets some of with gaming, but that is palpable when I pick him up from practice and see him and his friends, despite them all having cell phones, talking to one another like the old men (and a few women) used to do at McDonald’s on Martin Luther King.

Oh, but on last night. Last night, on the opening series of the first game of a long awaited season, I KNEW I was right to make him play. Let me describe it for you…

•The academic advisor/cheerleading coach asked me and another parent, while we were volunteering in concessions for the JV game, to help her with the cheerleaders because one assistant was with the basketball team (who was out of town playing in the playoffs) and another was getting vaccinated. That was perfect for me, because regardless of the visiting fans not being allowed, I was going to be on the grounds lurking anyway. 🤷🏾‍♀️ (His Dad will have to hold the chains to even see the game since juniors only get 1 ticket for home games)

•I told Michai I would probably pass on her request because I don’t stand for the National Anthem and I ain’t want no problems, PLUS, I wouldn’t be paying any attention to the cheerleaders because I know nothing about cheering.

•Cheer coach reached out again and needless to say, I had an attitude, but stood for the Anthem and I LOVE THE CHEERLEADERS. They are some old ladies who know about football, kept us entertained and the team motivated.

•The game starts. It’s chilly, but humid so my glasses kept fogging up. I’m still trying to get situated and act like a cheer person versus a loud football mom. A couple plays in and the ball is tipped, but the play is on the other side of the field. Now I’m struggling to get out of my lawn chair because 1. These knees ain’t as nimble as they used to be and 2. These hips ain’t either AND they were locked in the chair.

•I finally get up in time to see my pigeon-toed baby CATCH THE BALL AND RUN IT IN THE END ZONE! MICHAI GOT A PICK SIX!!! (I was yesterday years old when I learned how it got the name, thanks to my Mom asking.

I clearly blew my cover as a cheer person! I text my family, and we spent our ride home talking to my Mom, who let it be known the team was going to have to cut down on penalties, and my sister who is glad to watch online since she won’t be able to get fries from the concession stand. Michai played it cool, but I know he was happy.

We both woke up late; him just in time to go to work. I got emotional telling him, “I know I’m not a perfect parent and I doubted myself for making you play, ESPECIALLY when your Dad agreed with you. I had to trust my spiritual guidance and make you finish what you started. You will probably make mistakes in the upcoming games, but last night proved you were where you were supposed to be. I was proud when I congratulated you and the first thing you said was, “It was because of her son”, (another parent was standing near us and her son was who tipped the ball) because you gave credit where it was due. Embrace the moment, do your work ON TIME and see this thing out. You won’t get another chance to make memories like this.”

So many kids are suffering, and not being allowed to serve pre-game meals prevents me from sharing the space with the guys who all smile, speak and respect me. Many of them are seniors, and last night gave me the opportunity to see their hard work pay off. To see their love for one another and their leadership skills grow over the years will be unforgettable.

I’m not always right, but seeing the look on Michai’s former coach’s face when I told him about the Pick 6 a few minutes ago as he was working in Whole Foods, let me know I got it right this time. He told him just a few weeks ago, “That money is gonna be there. You have your whole life to work, but you only have one chance to play in high school.” My sister just sent a confirming text too…

🎶Nobody told me the road would be easy, but I don’t believe He’s brought me this far to leave me…🎶