…was not something we heard from our Mom, and I try to not say that as Michai’s Mom. Michai belongs to a different generation which requires a different type parenting, so I may not explicitly say, “I told you…”, yet I WILL remind him of what I said and why I said it.
What did I tell Michai about this time, you ask?!? THE COST OF LIVING and THE NEED TO BUDGET!!!
Crosby Scholars’ African American Men Pursuing Educational Dreams (AAMPED) program is one I’ll always be grateful for, and one I frequently remind Michai of because of the financial literacy course he completed with them. He often says he took the course before making real money. That’s true AND…making real money doesn’t mean he forgot the skills the course taught him.
Around November/December I told him I would be taking a large portion of his paycheck, until he showed me his budget, because he was spending too much money too fast. He tried to implement a work around 🤦🏾. I still didn’t release the money until I got the budget 💁🏾!
This could’ve gone a few ways:
- He’s well over the age of 18, so he could’ve taken me off his account.
- He could’ve had auto drafts that would’ve taken the money before I had a chance to manage it.
- He could understand the situation for what it was and accepted my help.
He went with the third option. I wish he would’ve opted for that BEFORE moving out, however…nah, I still wish he would’ve done that BEFORE moving out 🙄🤷🏾.
Our final conversation before he left was that I could NOT care for two households, so if he left has going to have to truly be responsible for his expenses or he was going to have to come back.
Jayauna is the one who has the alarms for the due dates of their bills. I know my son and, while he’s more conservative with his money than I was at his age, he’s still a Leo, therefore he wants to spend his money WHEN he wants to spend it and for WHAT he wants to spend it on. Meaning, those alarms were coming sooner than he wanted them to and for things he didn’t want to commit to EVERY MONTH! 🤭
Michai was distancing himself from me, and we only communicated when I initiated it. FaceTime allowed me to “lay eyes on him” and, when I did see him in person, I noticed his body language and disposition changed.
We finally had a conversation in April about what I was noticing and I told him to come home. Learn from this year. Get himself together. Save up and be more prepared when he goes out next time. I also talked to him and Jayauna together and told them that they are choosing to be out on their own and pay all this money. No need to get in debt and have to pay higher interest rates. Neither family put them out, they like their respective families, and their respective families like them so there’s no reason they can’t go back home to finish their college careers.
I DON’T LIKE CONFLICT, so I’m grateful they understood I was coming from a place of love and that going home didn’t mean they had to break up.
There is more to the story about what we (Michai, Jayauna, and I…and Michai, Vince, and I) discussed regarding life and lifelong relationships, yet that’s for another blog post on another day.
Ultimately, parenting still ain’t for the weak. Michai continues to learn how adulting ain’t for the weak. Being a boy mom of a boy who is in a relationship where they have renamed each other “Bae” definitely ain’t for the weak. 🫠
I’ve saddled up, though…in preparation of being a boy mom of a boy who is in a relationship AND of being a boy mom of a boy who is returning home 😳🫣
🏇🏽🏇🏇🤠💃🏾🙏🏾🥰🙌🏾