Oh We Are The Pathfinders Strong (but I’m a little weak right now)…

While I have mentioned being put out of church from time to time, many of my relationships and childhood memories, and much of my identity are rooted in being raised Seventh-Day Adventist (SDA). The heat we’ve endured this summer reminds me of Vacation Bible School (VBS) where my grandfather was a van driver and I couldn’t wait for the butter ring cookies and the red punch. SDAs preach a health message, so in later years our snacks were healthier and more filling like vegetarian haystacks.

If you follow me on Facebook some of what I write will be familiar like about Michai not liking VBS at our home church but rather the VBS at the first day (a church that worships on Sunday) around the corner from the home church because they served chicken, hamburgers, and hot dogs aka “real meat”. But that’s not the purpose of this post.

Pathfinders is a program I always assimilated to Boy/Girl Scouts. We met on Sunday mornings to go over life skills that would earn us badges. We learned how to tie knots, how to march (left, left, left right left), and that is where I listened to Sister Swift talk about garbanzo beans. I thought they were gross then, but I had NO IDEA I would become vegan and occasionally (because they are soy) willingly consume them 🫢.

Many of the Pathfinders also went to the church’s school together so Sunday morning meetings were normal for them. I only made it to Pathfinders if I stayed with my grandparents, and once I learned there was a catch to staying with them…I stopped 💁🏾‍♀️. I mean, I already had to get up at the crack of dawn to help my Grandma snap her girdle so we can make it to Sabbath (similar to Sunday) School at a decent time, then they wanted me to get up early on Sundays too?!? Where was my weekend? This is also why many leaders of the church still love my cousin from Florida because he would fall in line even while visiting 🤷🏾‍♀️.

I didn’t earn many badges AT ALL, but I somehow always ended up ushering on the fifth Sabbath (Pathfinder’s Day) and traveling on a few of the Pathfinder’s camping trips. I was often told I had an old soul, and I looked older than I was, but I never quite seemed to be old enough to hang with the older kids, so I had to stay at camp with the leaders, a.k.a old folks, where my soul became older 😳. I did learn how to pitch a tent, I would sometimes be in tune with the gossip about conference leaders (I always remained in a child’s place, but I have some receipts on some folk so watch yourselves 😏), and I always went to sleep at a decent hour because I went when the “old folks” went to sleep. This was well before the technology we have now.

Let me not forget the brushing of my teeth and washing my face in the creek or lake, and using the bathroom in the woods and covering it up like a dog 😩. Oh, y’all thought this was like modern-day camping where I may have slept in a tent but had a cabin somewhere to care for my activities of daily living? NOPE, which is why I 🙄 when Michai took sheets and such to camp when all I had was a sleeping bag. I always thought to myself, “we fought to abolish slavery just to willingly do this?! 🤔”

One of the “old folks” passed away last week…on my Grandfather’s birthday…and her funeral that was held today generated so many emotions I didn’t think I would feel, but I haven’t been right all day.

The cover picture is of her father and my grandmother after her mother passed. Our families remain as close as they are in the picture. If you follow the blog, he is who would put airplane liquor bottles in the bag of greens his wife would send to my grandmother. He would call the house after he got home, disguise his voice as a woman to see whether someone found the bottles just to laugh so hard we couldn’t understand him. Things I miss…along with my grandmother’s and his wife’s food. I didn’t miss my grandmother’s and his wife’s rolls (yeast and wheat) as much because the woman who passed and her sisters continued the tradition.

Sharon Wilson is the name of the woman who passed and she was a Pathfinder leader for YEARS, a caregiver for YEARS, a supporter for YEARS, a willing servant for YEARS, and simply a nice person for YEARS!

My family texts a lot, so my heart always races when someone calls. It was my aunt in Florida who called asking about whether I’d heard from my mom. I love my aunt DEARLY but was wanting her to get to the point of the call. Do I need to check on my mom? Does she know something I don’t? WHAT?!? I didn’t know she would tell me Sharon passed especially since I’d just seen her on my timeline leading Sabbath School that Saturday.

*What caught my attention before turning the sound on was how she was leading the service in a sleeveless dress 🫣. That was virtually unheard of in my grandparent’s day. You could be soaking wet from a wearing a girdle, pantyhose, full suit and hat in summer weather. I thought to myself how times have surely changed.*

I had to be the one to tell my mother and that didn’t go well. It also reminded me why I’ve told people to make me the last to know, but I seemingly end up being the messenger to somebody. I blocked the memories that were quickly populating because I was in the middle of a work day, but I couldn’t stop them after I saw the embrace one of Sharon’s sisters gave my aunt from Florida while watching the service on Facebook. I cannot imagine being able to share losing both your parents and now your siblings. The Wilsons lost their only brother years ago, so I’m sure they could understand the pain of my family when my oldest uncle passed last year.

My mother had an appointment today, but Michai made sure to take her to a portion of the service so all the siblings could represent and support the Wilsons as they’ve supported us SO MANY times. I’m trying to prepare myself now to take her to visit the family tomorrow because there are still so many things that remind me of how much time has passed and how we MUST take advantage of all that’s left, especially after learning it had been less than 60 days since she retired 😔.

My grandmother and her 5 children

Michai will be 18 on Sunday and will leave for NCAT next Saturday. It feels like Sharon was just at his baby shower…

Sharon is second from the left (sleeveless again 😂) with other members of her family…🤗🤗🤗

Covid had a big effect on my memory, and age has too but, surprisingly, I remembered all the words to the Pathfinder song. *Probably how I received one of my three badges 😂! I would add a recording of me singing it, but social media critics are the worst 🥹*

🎶Oh, we are the Pathfinders strong,
The servants of God are we,
Faithful as we march along,
In truth and purity,
A message to tell to the world,
A truth that will set us free, King Jesus the Saviour’s
coming back for you and me.🎶

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