“Proactive Versus Reactive”

Late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning was filled with SWIFT TRANSITION! I was dozing off earlier than normal, because I knew there were early (cold) mornings ahead, and felt/heard a vibration from my personal and work cell phones. I looked at the email, where the sender and subject line looked familiar. Familiar, yet confusing because we received a similar one in September. I opened it to learn that it was actually a notice of termination for the last two years of funding for the We Heal Together Winston-Salem (WHT-WS) initiative. An initiative that has met and exceeded outcomes over the past two years. An initiative that has impacted so many to not only speak openly about trauma; to also strategize and implement ways to reduce/eliminate trauma. We’ve witnessed transformation in real time during facilitations, the scholars and families in Piedmont Park, and organizations where a number of staff are having different conversations about trust and accountability so they can properly serve the community. We’ve also experienced a number of challenges from people who felt some people in place were undeserving of the roles, the work wasn’t all that impactful…yada, yada, shut up 🤫. Anyway, the train was still going because the data spoke for itself as it named the “BASIC” needs folk in Winston, specifically East Winston, continue to have, and all on the WHT-WS team are determined to address (even though we didn’t create the need).

The email was alarming…not because the grant funded 100% of my salary, a salary that supports a number of things and people (like many of our salaries do), not because it explained why I always said I didn’t want to work for a nonprofit because the industry is so unstable…because of how far we had stretched the $1m+ we had already used, and how far we had planned to stretch the rest, because of how many people the loss of funding would impact, and because those same people were STILL willing to do the work UNPAID because they understand how many rely on the services offered. To be clear…there aren’t too many colleagues, if any, who only have one job. Most of us HAVE to do “something on the side” to make ends meet. AIN’T NOBODY GETTIN’ RICH OFF THIS WORK!

AND BECAUSE, as Black people, people who’ve advocated, worked, and risked a lot/everything to stand and serve…we ENTERED this 4 year initiative in 2022/2023 (before the administration changed) with the question…WHAT’S THE PLAN FOR WHEN THE GRANT ENDS IN 2027?! When the administration changed, which was also the midpoint of the grant, the question shifted to, WHAT’S THE PLAN IF THE GRANT IS TERMINATED?!

The questions were asked because as Black people and people who risked a lot to do the work, we’ve seen this story TOO MANY TIMES before. We knew 4 years wasn’t that long and if there wasn’t a sustainability plan, the work would fall flat. Personally, I asked the question because of a charge I was given in grad school by a professor, one the healthcare industry hadn’t taken on yet, “It is better to be proactive versus reactive.”

I knew I would still have bills and student loans in 2027. I knew the school aged dependents of my colleagues would have greater needs in 2027. I knew the community’s needs would need to be sustained in 2027 so, in 2023 we asked what’s the plan for 2027?

I also knew no one was exempt from all the changes taking place in the country. Therefore, I wasn’t surprised by the emails that came, and continue to come, “late in the midnight hour.” I’m also not surprised by the disingenuous/fake outrage. Why? Because I’ve seen that before, too. It’s also not new that some have wished and prayed for the termination. Wanted our balloons to be popped because they care more about WHO IS DOING THE WORK instead of WHO WE ARE DOING THE WORK FOR!

I, along with the community, am waiting for ACTION! How are budgets going to shift? How are board meeting agendas going to shift? How are thoughts and prayers going to shift to POLICY AND ACTION?!

Until then, don’t be concerned about me being calm. Being Black in America is traumatic on any given day. Being a Black woman with a voice in America is DANGEROUS, so I’ve BEEN on a wellness journey for years!

I’ll be over here implementing my trauma informed tools, my tools from my therapist (him telling me, “You can’t be disappointed if you don’t have any expectations”, has shifted my entire mindset), breathing and using the meditation tools from Coach Shayla, running it up in the group chat, you know…doing the normal things because I, along with others, am tired of cleaning up messes we didn’t make. We’re tired of having to be the ones to have the conversation. Hell, we don’t even want to do the work because BASIC NEEDS should already be provided to EVERYONE.

Tuesday night/Wednesday morning’s alarms were for the disingenuous/fake outraged people. We see you. The community’s watching. What you gon’ do?! 👀🤷🏾

Thank you to MY KIJIJI…my blood family, my colleagues who have become family, friends, business owners (ByGood Coffee). This week was a wild one. Y’all checked on me, yet were more concerned about the bigger picture; mainly because, you’ve seen this story before, too. “WE ARE WHO WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR”, and “WE’RE HERE NOW”, so LEEETTT’SSSS GOOOO!!!

*Cover photo includes gifts that were waiting for me from a colleague who didn’t know I’d stepped outside to share with the team that our jobs may have to end soon.*