Watch Your ‘Mouf’!

Saturday’s Vlog included discussion of how we need to increase our advocacy for Black women. It came on the heels of feeling isolated during a board meeting last Monday, my Facebook comments being deleted from someone’s post about Brittney Griner last Tuesday, and an overall exhaustion of showing up for everyone else, but not witnessing the same level of ‘showing up’ for Black women.

Then comes the varied comments about what happened at the Oscars, many of which included August Alsina. I remain confused at those comments for a number of reasons, mainly because August didn’t disrespect Jada, and also because I believe we need to expand our conversations around relationships and sex, but that’s a conversation for another day, and today ain’t it.

I was able to experience some unbelievable respite with a few women from different cultural backgrounds this weekend, and it made me feel like I could return to life and continue on the advocacy journey. I didn’t know the need for advocacy would come so soon…like within hours of returning to town.

It came during a focus group session (loosely) about how to engage more Black families in school activities. The session was preceded with a speaker who stated something similar to…The comments in focus sessions can sting, but don’t take the sting personally and use the information to better your program.

Everyone in the room introduced themselves and discussed their involvement with the school and what prevents them from being more involved. My statement included all of that, and also how relationships matter. How we’re coming up on the last few days before graduation, so I was going to be transparent because I have nothing to lose. How I would love for us all to be trained by the Racial Equity Institute, but it would probably be assimilated to critical race theory, so I suggest we begin with social emotional education. How we can’t try and engage families at school without considering the barriers outside of school. Oh, and how relationships matter.

There was conversation about a lot of things, and all topics were very valid. My statements included making sure we understood the difference between equality and equity, because all sports teams shouldn’t receive an equal amount of funding if all aren’t the same size. I also stated how the football team won the first State Championship in school history, yet they were tasked with raising the funds for their rings.

At which time, we were called to order with the tapping of a pen and told, “So what I’m hearing is that because you all can’t have your way, you choose to not volunteer.” (It be your own people 😔)

It was then I understood what Pastor Shirley Caesar was singing when she sang, “Something got ahold of me…it felt like FIYAH!”, because it wasn’t only what Sis said, but also HOW she said it. Not to mention my irritation behind being unheard since we ALL described our respective volunteer efforts. I quickly corrected her, in which she quickly apologized, but the damage had been done and I wasn’t trying to hear that sh*t. I told her I was encouraged to bring others to the table, but I had to test the water before I invited them because they will ask, “Who all gon’ be there?”, and if you show up with this same tone and attitude, the end result won’t be positive. “So you gon’ have to watch your ‘mouf’.”

We really need to have a conversation about Black people…the race of people who have endured an insurmountable amount of pain, disrespect, embarrassment, bias, sacrifice, *insert your endurance word here*…and why we are required to always be on our best behavior. Why are we the ones who take the verbal disrespect and are expected to not counter with physical disrespect? Disrespect is disrespect.

Why are we the ones who should “know better”, why are we forced to take things in stride, handle things ‘offline’, after the meeting or behind closed doors when the attack was public? Why do we gather so much nerve to say the most to EACH OTHER, particularly in front of ‘company’? Why? It’s too much pressure for me, and while I understood Will’s reaction from the beginning, last night’s discussion further proved my point of the need to watch your ‘mouf’ and LEAVE.PEOPLE.ALONE! How about that?

People are going through things, life is constantly being life, and we have the audacity to believe we can say what we want without consequence. Social media has offered an illusion that we can mistreat people all while saying, “I didn’t mean it that way. They took it wrong.” No, they took it how you said and meant it and, instead of admitting your mistake, you now blame them for how they reacted.

Moral to the story…there are some who dgaf, there are some who feel they have nothing to lose, there are others who lack emotional intelligence and there are those who just don’t wanna hear that sh*t, so it’s best to watch your ‘mouf’ and LEAVE.PEOPLE.ALONE!!!