Many will agree that social media has created a platform for people to constantly compare themselves, show only their “good sides”, and for people to gain virtual courage. Others will talk about how this current generation posts too much, and in fact, I have a shirt that reads, “You Post Too Much.” However, while I prefer people to share all sides of their lives to help others learn and grow, I don’t disagree with this generation, or any other one, praising themselves.
There seems to be an unwritten rule for Black people to “remain humble”, and to “let your work speak for you”. That we will seem cocky or arrogant if we talk too much about our wins. Last week’s Our Kijiji guest taught us otherwise. Lové came on and mentioned how she doesn’t talk enough about how amazing she is and how she was going to change that. I reiterated Lové’s statement to a friend during brunch the next day and said I would be following suit because I second-guess myself on some things when I should be confident in my work and ability.
Near the end of the week, another friend sent a message showing how their boss took credit for their work; some work I witnessed with my own eyes. It was a gut punch for me, so I won’t begin to imagine how they felt. I attempted to soften the blow by reminding them how, “Karma never forgets an address”, but I know it can be hard to wait for Karma when you’re witnessing abuse (because that’s what it is) in real-time. Then there’s the reality that no matter how many ways the friend will attempt to approach the boss to advocate for their work, they will be deemed as “angry…not being a team player…overreacting…” not to mention how the boss will find a way to justify their actions, keep their 👀 on the friend, and use the friend’s actions against them when it comes time for conversations about promotion.
They talked about white women having a (generational) playbook about how the business and leadership games work (and we aren’t privy to the rules). My response was that Black people, specifically Black women, give white women too much access. I referenced Lové when I said, “We all must do a better job of sharing how amazing we are because if we don’t, some white woman will take the credit.”
Stop waiting for your boss to tell leadership about your work…YOU TELL THEM!
Stop waiting for your boss to highlight your work during your annual review…YOU HIGHLIGHT YOUR WORK YEAR-ROUND!
Stop trying to keep your head down and do the work…LIFT YOUR HEAD TO TALK ABOUT THE WORK AND ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF!
Stop trying to play a game that didn’t include us anyway…CONTINUE WRITING OUR RULES, AND PLAYING OUR GAME, BECAUSE ULTIMATELY…WE AS BLACK PEOPLE ALWAYS WIN!!!
Cliché I know, but this is a game of chess, not checkers. OAN: I was raised Seventh-Day Adventist, so I don’t even know how to play chess, barely know how to play checkers…really only know how to play Uno 🤣. With that said, we need to have a different conversation…less about this being “the game of life”, and more about actually living. We need to focus more on what makes us happy and motivates us, because those spaces are where we will find our white allies and accomplices who credit us for our work, speak about us in the rooms we aren’t invited, and make sure we receive the compensation we deserve.
As we enter Mental Health Awareness Month, plan how you will begin, or continue, celebrating yourself because there is a white woman somewhere implementing a plan on how to take credit for your work while sipping a mimosa. 🤷🏾♀️💁🏾♀️🥂