“This Joy That I Have…”

“…The world didn’t give it, the world can’t take it away!”

The words I used to describe last night’s coloring party feel inadequate, so I’ll insert a recap here by sharing what I told the guests along with some additional comments based on what we experienced.

◦ You’re here for more than coloring. We’re asking for a $5 donation to fund…nah, I’m just joking. Seriously, you are here for more than coloring. You’re here to witness what I want MY city to look like. How I want it to feel and how I want it love.

◦ I’ve been burned a few times by some of my own people, mainly women, because I’ve learned some people don’t know how to take me; they feel I pose some sort of threat. But what I’ve also learned is that some of those people haven’t done the work on themselves to understand what I present seems threatening because they aren’t used to compassion, empathy, and honesty; they are used to ‘Yes’ people and Micha ain’t one of them. They aren’t used to people like me who say they will help and actually follow through. They aren’t used to people who present ideas and will walk through them with you, put their own money up to support the ideas they presented, and only ask in return for you to do what you said you’re gonna do. As the saying goes…hurt people, hurt people.

◦ I’ve had to do my own work to heal, otherwise I wouldn’t be standing here. I wouldn’t have accepted Kellie Easton’s, President and CEO of Action4Equity, offer to be the face of Our Kijiji. Which led to Our Kijiji presenting an Adult Coloring Party last summer. An idea taken from my son’s therapist, Rwenshaun Miller, co-founder of The Good Stress Company and Executive Director of Eustress, Inc, where Eustress means Good Stress. He started it because he has a mental diagnosis and coloring helped calm him. He recently returned from Ghana, where he received services from Maya Gilliam’s Ma’ati Spa. He said she was shocked when he shared his experience and told her that’s what his platform is for. A Black man raised in Bertie County, who graduated from Carolina, and has multiple businesses while also having a mental diagnosis. IT.CAN.BE.DONE!!!

◦ Speaking of small towns. I wouldn’t be here without the support of my family, specifically my mom, sister, and son who uses advice given to him by me and his therapist to help his dorm mates over at North Carolina A&T. FREE OF CHARGE! Just giving away proprietary info 🙄. I told you, it be your own people. My dad who has some mental health struggles. He doesn’t know this, but it’s his push back on receiving help that makes me push so hard for (Black men to receive) therapy. My sister is here with her husband who was raised in a small town of Plymouth, NC. Hadn’t heard of it until I met him, and later learned our Fire Chief went to high school with one of his brothers. My brother-in-law retired from the Army after 20+ years, and really dosen’t believe in stuff like this, yet he drove my sister from Garner, I think to be nosey, but he’s here and will celebrate his birthday on Friday so let’s clap it up for him! We were all shocked that my brother-in-law actually finished coloring his picture AND said he enjoyed himself…🫢

Something I forgot to share with the guests, but will put it here…I feel my dad would be better off if his addiction would have been assimilated to his mental health, like meth addicts today, versus being criminalized which exacerbated his issues.

◦ The Kijiji supporters who returned…thank you! Normandi Perry of Th3rd’s Catering and Raven of Chasing Light Collective who are return vendors. Juwana Alomia of SoJulicious Drinks for the sangria. Her mother is my hairstylist and I babysat her when she was in the 2nd grade and she’s now 25 🤯. Hustle Winston Salem Executive Director, Magalie Yacinthe, and her team, specifically Mandez Douthit, both of whom have appeared on Our Kijiji. Both are young, brilliant and supportive.

Guests loved the food, their coloring options (the people had to sharpen their pencils because of how much they were coloring. Raven offered many more options of what to color and she allowed them to take as many as they wanted 😍), they said the sangria was good and STRONG, and they enjoyed the space.

◦ Sparq…is the space we’re in and their thing is that events offered need to be at little to no cost to participants. Mainly at no cost. Now before you start side-eyeing us and or going out of here and trying to tell on us. We did NOT make a profit off of this event. In fact, we came out of pocket a little (lot). If you noticed on Eventbrite, you also didn’t pay any fees. We absorbed that cost. Now I ain’t gon’ say that’s always gonna be the case, but we had to follow rules to use this space.

Shenell Thompson was present and asked guests to put a little something in Alexia and my cashapps. A business owner gave us cash (because she said she didn’t want us to have to deal with fees) and I received a couple more cashapps. I’m super grateful!!! 🙏🏾🙌🏾

◦ And to Alexia…because I have been burned and hurt, and even though I trust Kellie, I still only go so far with doing things under the Kijiji brand. Which is why, I only reach out to people to come on IG, but not to do events. I leave that to Kellie. Alexia, however, came to me to ask about doing this and I was like YES, because the other thing about Kellie is, she’s busy, will forget, and my few followers and I don’t do last minute. I happily accepted and appreciate her because she is a force all by herself, and she also recognizes the power of collaboration! I appreciate you and your honesty, Alexia!

◦ This is my third time seeing her this week because Shenell Thompson over at Kate B. Reynolds Charitable Trust has a vision about this city, too, and Sis has us out here in these streets and meeting rooms using our voices. In a meeting on Thursday where we were talking about today’s events, I told them when Alexia presented this opportunity I was like yes, my followers wanted to do this quarterly anyway so let’s do it and Sis said, “let’s see how the first one will go before we do all that.” Now…had I not done the healing work, I would have been offended and my feelings would have been hurt, but I appreciated her honesty.

◦ I’m saying all this to say, BLACK WOMEN CAN WORK TOGETHER, BLACK WOMEN DO WORK TOGETHER, BLACK WOMEN ARE THE SHIT, BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH AND BLACK WOMEN ARE BLESSINGS.

◦ Before I finish, I want to let y’all know my bag came from the BHM collection at Target. My hoodie was created by Tiffany Graves at Ethnic Edge, my EarBobz are products of Janel Brown, and my shoes, were created in honor of Charles Douthit, brother of Patrick Douthit aka 9th Wonder who is a Grammy Award winning producer, Professor at Harvard, NCCU, Duke, ECSU and Wake, and also a graduate of Glenn High School.

BHM bag from Target, created by a NC based graphic designer
Hoodie by Ethnic Edge
Bobz by Janel Brown
KD 15 x 9th Wonder

◦ I paid for all of this, and I think you should continue making sure you support Black creators/vendors at full price. Why? That’s a conversation for another day…

The room was full. We had about the same number of men as last time and these men were also fully engaged in coloring (my almost 63-year-old uncle participated 🫢). I was able to connect with people whom I’ve met in various settings over the years and the number of therapists and social workers in the room confirmed how important coloring is. I sat in the car and cried for a little while last night, because there were a couple of people who pushed their way in the room despite personal challenges. They stayed and participated through tears.

It truly exhibited what I mean when I end each IG Live with, “For Us, By Us, To Help Us Be Our Best Us!”

Until next time…

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